


Coffee and Monster Energy Drinks Do Not Mix.

by kittykais



Series: A Cuppa Coffee For Your Head [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: AND GAY, Chan is Panicked, Coffee, Crack, EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO GOOGLE DOCS THIS TOOK LIKE TEN MINUTES, Fluff, HELL YES BABEY, IM SLEEP DEPRIVED OKAY, M/M, MinChan rise bitch, SO GAY, THEYRE GAY WOOT, YALL I DID IT, also dumb, anygays, board that i saw??>, do not be like chan, like thank you pinterest ur my best friend, monster energy drinks, not a lick of angst but theres links of caffeine, stan stray kids and stream gods menu bitch, this is literally based off of a pinterest, this is so cracky and weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24817120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykais/pseuds/kittykais
Summary: The professor starts to speak but Minho isn’t paying attention to him because Chan is pouring an entire Monster Energy drink into his coffee. Then he turns to him and looks him straight in the eye.“Hi, my name’s Chan and I’m going to die.” Then he drinks it all, not breaking eye contact with Minho.Well then Chan.This is an interesting development.Starring: Confident Gay Lee Minho and Panicked Raging Bisexual Bang ChanFeaturing: Caffeine, Coffee, and Monster Energy Drinks(only the first chapter is the fic, the next one will be deleted in some time)Edit: YALL I DID IT THIS IS EDITED NOW WITH NO TRACE OF HIM LETS FUCKING GO YEETi would very much appreciate comments uwu :D
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: A Cuppa Coffee For Your Head [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800949
Comments: 50
Kudos: 279





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is: written in like an hour and honestly trash
> 
> have fun~
> 
> this is: actually redited in like ten minutes, google docs oppar did most of the work i just did the find and replace and edited it 
> 
> everyone say thank you google docssss

Minho hadn’t expected college to be _easy_. He wasn’t that dumb, really. He’s in his third year of hell now, and he’s seen many, many things. Things ranging from girls getting drunk off of beer and their partner’s punch, or something else entirely to walking on two professors making out in the classroom.

Minho shudders to remember that incident. It wasn’t his fault that he liked to get to the lectures early so that he could relish in the few moments of peace before he had to even _consider_ socialising with other people. 

Another reason why he chose the earlier exam slots. 7am wasn’t a popular time, especially for college students who had a variety of other options to choose from. Even better, the people who came in at seven am were usually brain dead of varying degrees, meaning Minho didn’t have to talk to them! So much better. 

These 7 am classes were his and his only, his moment of _peace_ , screw the amount of sleep he was getting because guess what bitch, naps were a thing now. 

Yeah. Big shocker, I know. 

It was to Minho’s slight surprise (had it been a later time of the day, Minho would have been fully surprised but one just didn’t show that much emotion in the wee hours of the morning.) when a pretty blonde dude, someone who he regularly stared at saw in this class plopped down next to him and nodded in greeting. 

Minho nodded back, wondering what the everloving heck he was doing. He didn’t mind the company, especially since he knew that this guy was one of the quiet, studious types- he had yet to say a sentence in class (not including answering questions, of course). Minho smiled at him a bit before taking out his own materials and still basking in the comfortable silence of the room- with an added human presence that surprisingly adds to the comfort. 

He could get used to this, honestly. Not too much though, he has a trashy reputation to uphold for god knows why, he just knows he needs to uphold it and nothing really makes sense in college except for what's alcohol and what’s not. 

As the rest of the students file into the lecture hall in varying degrees of tiredness, Chan takes out a coffee, a monster drink and a metal straw. Minho immediately thinks of VSCO girls and then tries to delete the thought from his head. Delete delete delete _please_. He’s still traumatized by the time Felix got drunk and dressed up as a VSCO girl and stole a bunch of scrunchies from Minho’s sister. 

If it’s one thing that he’s learned in his twenty two years of life it's that you _never_ , and I mean _never_ take scrunchies from a female. 

Hell will reign supreme. 

Minho will never be able to look at a hydroflask the same way again. He prays to all the stars and that one amazing seed that resides in the sky that Chan does not have a hydoflask. Not that it’s going to matter since Minho doubts that Chan’s going to sit here every time they have class. (Minho kind of hopes he does but he isn’t going to say that because emotions are gross and he’s in college which means he isn’t mature _at all_.)

The professor starts to speak but Minho isn’t paying attention to him because Chan is pouring an _entire_ Monster Energy drink into his coffee. Then he turns to Minho and looks him straight in the eye. 

“Hi, my name’s Chan and I’m going to die.” Then he drinks it all, not breaking eye contact with Minho. 

Well then Chan. 

This is an interesting development. 

Needless to day, Minho can’t think of anything else the entire day. He thinks he just fell for a random stranger because said random stranger added like _ten_ more shots of caffeine (is that even a thing??) into ten shots of caffiene and really, Minho _shouldn’t_ like that but it’s nice to find a human being who feels more dead than you do. 

(The fact that Chan was extraordinarily good looked helped to, of course. But the hair...the hair needed to be fixed. He was not going to make out with this dude, put his hands in his hair and end up pulling on pieces of dried _ramen_. No sir, he definitely was not.)

\---

Minho finds him again at the library, except they’re a table away from each other. Minho’s glad for the distance, he can observe without being observed, and okay that’s a bit creepy. Just a touch. Not much at all. 

Minho’s been studying for about half an hour before he sees it. Chan’s crying silently in his folded arms, back shaking with the effort. Minho wants to go and comfort him or something, because he doesn’t think it’s normal to be crying in a library at 3pm in the afternoon. Then again, college is a hellhole that likes to suck all the happiness out of your puny little body and thrust it into a fire, so it’s more like Minho’s surprised that Chan has tears _left_. 

Chan’s been crying for five minutes exactly when his phone alarm rings out softly. Immediately, he stops crying and goes back to work. Minho stares unabashed. What the _fuck_.

Then he overhears a conversation from behind him. A boy with braces is telling a squirrel cheeked boy- his boyfriend maybe that there’s no hope left for the both of them. 

“Jisungie, I’m going to be honest with you, okay? I love you, I really do, but you aren’t going to pass this test. There’s nothing more we can do.” 

What. The. Fuck. 

\---

Minho sees Chan the next day he has class. Chan sits next to him, and does the same exact procedure he had done last time. Minho wonders if he’s spending all his tuition money on iced Americanos and Monster Energy drinks because it sure seems that way. 

He offers Chan a small smile and get’s a bright one in return. Minho’s surprised. He didn’t know that someone could smile that brightly in the morning. It must be all the caffeine. Minho needs caffeine. He really does. 

He _would_ just ditch class and run to the coffee shop nearby, but Chan looks so _cute_ that he doesn’t want to miss anything. 

(Like the scrunches of his nose when he gets an answer wrong or the way he taps his pencil on his cute nose when he’s thinking.)

(One time Minho had pointed out that Chan has a big nose. He didn’t mean it in a rude way, of course, merely stating a fact. Chan hadn’t taken it wrongly, thank goodness but he _had_ said, “Oh! You know what else is big?”, and looked down, giving Minho a complete and utter heart attack, and said, “My feet-”. Minho had to go to the bathroom to calm himself down. A pity, really.)

Maybe it’s the fact that he got approximately three hours of sleep last night or the fact that he downed a beer before getting here or maybe it’s the fact that Minho’s just a dumbass, but nothing should have prompted him to lean forward, tilt Chan’s head towards him and mutter, “Please come get some good finger smackin’ caffeine with me, baby, I’ll treat you better than this coffee ever could.”

Hell can reign supreme, it just needs to reign supreme in his cold, dead heart. 

Chan’s eyes widen and he splutters, face becoming a beautiful shade of red under Minho’s small hands. The professor is staring at them with awe on his face but Minho could care less. Annoying professors who make out in front of him can watch him flirt with someone using the trashiest pick up lines that shouldn’t even be considered pick up lines because they're just _that_ bad. Seriously, fuck you professor, he was _scarred_ that day. 

Minho frowns when Chan doesn’t answer him immediately, pulling away and starting to pack away his stuff. “Well, looks like I’ll just drown my sorrows in caffeine myself. Good bye, everyone, have a wonderful day.” The professor doesn’t even stop him, staring slack jawed as Minho gives Professor Jung a salute, and struts out, slut dropping at the door. 

Now. Time to finally bang his head against his Statistics textbook like he’s been wanting to do for ages. 

Felix will never be able to stop him this time. This time, Lee Minho will reign supreme. God, he needs so much more sleep it’s not even funny. 

\---

Felix doesn’t need to stop him apparently, because Bang Chan Himself is here to stop him apparantly. But at high speed, because Chan screeches and crashes into Minho, knocking them both over. Minho somehow lands slightly on his side so his chin and teeth are alright. Chan’s above him, strong arms next to Minho’s face .

Chan blows his bang (haha) out of the way, and _goddamnit why is that so attractive_ and grins at Minho. “Yes, actually.” He says. Minho quirks an eyebrow. “Please answer that properly. I have about negative zero brain cells and negative zero understanding of what you’re saying right now.” Chan giggles and pulls them both up so they’re sitting in front of each other in the hallway. “I would love to go with you on that date.”

Minho nodded, masking the butterflies he’s desperately trying to digest right now with a mask of calmness. “That would be wonderful, Chan, really but right now I just want to go to sleep so unless you want to cuddle me in about fifteen minutes when we get to my apartment we’ll have to take that date tomorrow.” 

Chan blushes and looks down, playing with his fingers. “I like cuddles.” He whispers. Minho would be so, so whipped outwardly but he legitimately cannot show emotion before nine am so he only freaks out on the inside. 

Minho nods and stands up, bringing Chan up with him as he takes a step forward so their chest to chest, looking slightly up at the other man. “I would love to show more emotion right now, but it’s too early in the morning to do that kind of shit so I’m just going to kiss you right now. Kapeesh? Great.” Minho says, smiling gently and pressing his lips to Chan’s. 

Unsurprisingly, the other tastes like coffee and sugar. 

Minho finds it mildly addicting. 

\---

As it is, Chan is a _great_ cuddler and has a _lot_ of muscle on him, something Minho found out after not-so-conspicuously feeling the other up in bed. Goodness, that sounds so _wrong_ (it _is_ wrong) but Minho really is too tired to do anything but sleep. So he throws a leg over Chan;s waist, tucks his neck in the other’s chest and goes to sleep. (He should call up BM and tell him he has another addition for the Big Tiddie Committe (gang gang) ). 

He can feel Chan’s arms tighten protectively around his back and Minho smiles. He’s very, very happy that Chan decided to mix coffee and an energy drink way back when. 

\---

Chan is also a very, very good cook, and Minho wakes up two hours later to find him taking advantage of his kitchen and making a light snack. It’s just a sandwich, but it’s actual food, so Minho inhales it all the same, pressing a light kiss on Chan’s lips as a form of thanks. It’s nine am, and now Minho’s emotional meter has reached full capacity! It’s emotion time, everyone!

As cheesy as it sounds, his heart hasn’t felt more full, which is a weird feeling since his brain hasn’t even felt so mindlessly empty. 

No thoughts, head Chan. 

“You know you make me feel really weird things.” Minho remarks. Chan tilts his head to the side a bit, confused, and _shit_ Minho just fell even more. “What?” He asks. Minho nods. “My heart feels really really full but my brain feels very empty and I’m not sure if that’s just a side effect of college or if you somehow tossed my thoughts into the Vanishing Cabinet in Hogwarts or something.”

Minho is a very, very, _very_ big Potterhead. He’s very gay for Tom Felton, but then again, who isn’t? (Harry Potter can agree). 

As it is, Chan is a huge Potterhead too. Minho thinks he’s in heaven. Satan can _fuck off_. Angels, come forth please. 

Chan’s eyes _light up_ . “You like Harry Potter?” He asks? Minho levels him with a stare so dry it may as well be in the Sahara Desert. “Albus Dumbledore _gay_.” Chan gasps, delighted and Minho lets himself feel proud. 

“I think I just fell for you.” He says. Minho, in all his gay glory can do nothing but wink at him and say 

“Brave of you to assume you didn’t fall for me before.”

Chan scoffs and Minho’s heart lights up. He loves good old, banter, something easy to toss back and forth between people. It helps couples get to know each other, it’s playful, it’s light teasing and Minho shouldn’t go into the details of why he likes banter because that’s just weird but he really _does_. 

“Fall for you before? Minho, you asked me if I could get, and I quote ‘Please come get some good finger smackin’ coffee with me, baby, I’ll treat you better than this caffeine ever could.’”. Minho shrugs. “I was sleep deprived and partly tipsy. Those two plus your adorable face doesn’t make a good combination you know.” Chan’s face colors a bright red again, and it’s beautiful, the way Chan’s pale skin can’t hide even the faintest blush from him. “I-I’m cute?” Chan stutters. 

Minho nods, reaching over to pat Chan on the head lightly. “You’re probably the most adorable person I’ve seen and I’m best friends with a tiny pixie who’s hands are 14.5 cm, palm to top of middle finger.”

Chan’s mouth drops open and Minho nods sagely. “You don’t know your power, Chan, you really don’t.” Chan blushes again, hiding his face in his hands, which seem to be much smaller than Minho’s own. _Cute_. 

They waste the day away gossipping about Harry Potter, because screw you classes and life in general I just found a really cute guy who likes Harry Potter and _taste_. 

Minho sips his tea. “So, do tell me, Bang Chan.” He pauses for dramatic flair and enjoys watching Chan tense.

“What do you think about Ron Weasely?” Immediately Chan’s face fills with anger. “He deserved so much better!” This is the man that Lee Minho is going to marry, everything else be damned. Yes, even you Satan. Go. To. Hell. 

“The movies did him so dirty, like he was obviously so much more than just a character for comedic relief! He didn’t even get to do magic, not even once in most of the movies and that is a travesty in itself because Ron Weasely is a wizard and he is proud and he didn’t go to Hogwarts to be made into a joke, he went to go learn magic and beat the shit out of his sister’s future boyfriends.” Yes, this is _definitely_ the man Minho is going to marry. He doesn’t make the rules. 

Minho nods furiously. “And Ginny Weasely?” Chan becomes angrier. “Ginny is my favorite character and she is the entire _reason_ that I am a raging bisexual and not a hundred percent homo. Book Ginny is the best Ginny and I will commit murder to the person who did this to her, her _snark_ , and her comebacks and her friendship with Hermione and just Harry and Ginny’s entire relationship was completely overlooked in the movies.” At this point, Minho is just nodding his head and appreciating Chan’s voice because this man has _taste_. And brain cells. 

“You know what we should do, Channie?” Minho asks. “We should redo the entire Harry Potter series, except in Korean. It’ll be Korean Harry Potter.” He’s deathly serious. Minho knows all the drama majors. He will do it. He needs to give justice to Harry Potter. Chan nods. He’s also deathly serious. “We really should. And then we should get married in Hogwarts.” 

Minho nods but then stops and shuts down for a second. Chan is looking at him with a shit eating grin plastered on his stupidly beautiful face. 

\---

“You know Channie, for future dates, there’s something you need to remember.” Chan looks down at him. “And what’s that?” Minho smiles ,head comfortably tucked under Chan’s chin.

“ Coffee and Monster Energy drinks do _not_ mix.”


	2. si

okay i'll be quick and i'll be blunt what should i do with this? delete it? keep it? rewrite it so it's a particular ship? any comments and all respectful comments i will take and i will answer. 

for my rants see From A To Z, and *insert title here*

thank you 

stay safe everyone <3

update; im not deleting this chapter cause i like the comments on it ehehhee

**Author's Note:**

> i have absolutely no regrets (regerts amirite pri) but yes here you go the coffee/energy drink thing was based off a pin on pinterest and so was the minsung! credit where its due. There may or may not be a sequel, but not anytime soon. :D
> 
> i am not above begging for comments please comment i am: lonely and will always respond ....please
> 
> stay safe <3
> 
> 9/8/20 edit: hi hello everyone~ i'm back! thank you for 1k hits on this thing, AND for the helpful comments on the next chapter. I might delete the next chapter soon maybe maybe not it really does not matter but yeah!! this is done!! edited! i might edit the ikea one next maybe. we would have to see. drop a comment, they make my day !


End file.
